Hi ya-
Here comes the part about bodily functions that is necessary to talk about and sensitive to some people. If you don't want to hear the graphic details, don't read them. Along with all the other digestive processes, moving the bowels has been completely shut down for almost a month. The morning of the fourth day of refeeding this all changed.
Toward the end of the first fasting week I felt I had residual material sitting at the end of my digestive tract waiting for elimination and unable to move without a force behind it. I considered an enema, to relieve the distraction and to prevent old material from sitting there perhaps with toxins to be reabsorbed by my body. It was among the questions I had at this particular juncture, but one not answered by Elchanan. Sometimes he just ignores to elaborate on points and I interpret those avoidances as invitations to figure it out by myself (or as personal points that are none of my business). So I thought about nature's design and came to the conclusion that enemas are a man made invention and that my body would take care of its needs on its own. Soon after the sensation of an awaiting bowel movement left. At about this time I stopped looking for or expecting a bowel movement.
I had read many accounts of people clearing their rectums before refeeding so that this old residual that had accumulated could be eliminated with ease. The one 7 day cleanse I had experienced included two home colonics a day. Most of the literature had positive responses to questions of colonics used to some degree while fasting. Dr. Doug Graham was one of the people opposed to the practice, and I have come to admire and respect his opinion. Elchanan said I would get rid of the old stuff (and it would be stinky and unpleasant as poop goes) and that would be followed by more familiar good eating movements. I had tired of watermelon and started my figs and lettuce so by the morning of day four, after growlings and grumblings, the old stuff made its move.
Now keep in mind that my previous two years of progressively better eating had blessed me with frequent and easy bowel movements, and that for almost the last month I had not even stretched my anal sphincter once. I was not prepared for passing that first "plug" of God knows what it was. The first attempts to pass this accumulation yielded small little pieces of mucus encrusted stuff. I realized what was coming would need all the help I could give it and used some lubricant on toilet tissue to help ease the friction and got up on the toilet- with the seat up you can use a "poor man's" squat position without buying any equipment. And then it was like birthing a whale- I just took my time and worked until I delivered this presto log cylinder that looked like marbled beef but with a green-brown color instead of red. I don't know what it was but it was ugly- and I was free at last!
Oh- great day in the morning- I felt so much better. I instantly understood what my dog is happy about after he comes running back in from a morning potty break all happy to be alive. I had stretched myself to the limit but did not bleed so my body did know what it was doing. I felt light and relieved and exhausted. My butt was sore for almost a week, but the next bowel movement came later that night and was obviously watermelon. Let the normal pooping begin.
I think the best refeeding advice is double the amount daily but slow down the intervals for the first three or four days and eat watermelon until you just can't anymore. Don't be concern with having a bowel movement, it will come when it is supposed to. After getting enough to eat I started to limit my meals to four, then finally three. I added a variety of food as I felt was appropriate and now eat three full meals a day, and having bowel movements on the same schedule I was before fasting. Life is good and I feel great.
More later- odds and ends to tie up.
Seena
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Re-feeding Days 1-3
Well, the big day had come, the one you lay around and think about- the day you start eating again. I will describe the first three days because they were the transitioning days.
My body had been in ketosis for three weeks. I was getting my fuel from my fat. My digestion had been completely turned off and from my mouth to my hind end there had been no action. No juices flowed anywhere, nothing moved, everything shrunk. I had had no bowel movement since the first day of the fast in the morning. Although I was very weak, it was a weakness I had lived with for a while and felt I understood, it was familiar. I am not sure what I expected, but the first three days of re-feeding were the hardest ones of all.
Elchanan and I had talked about the first two days of re-feeding as far as what and when and how to eat. The first day I cut a 1" slice from the watermelon and cut it into six pieces. That's a big round circle, cut in half, with the halves cut in thirds. I was supposed to eat two segments every two hours the first day- which ended up being two whole slices for the whole day. He told me to have whoever brought the watermelon on Sunday cut two pieces so they would be ready for me. I thought I could cut my own and later wished I had let them cut it for me. By the time I got my first two segments prepared and sat down on the couch I was exhausted.
But the first segment touching my tongue will be a feeling I will never forget. The sweetness of that watermelon exploded in my mouth and I felt an appreciation for that bite of fruit in a way I have never appreciated food before in my life. I ate my two segments very slowly with a big smile on my face. The second two segments two hours later were also consumed slowly and I found as small as they were I could not quite finish them. My stomach had really shrunk. I kept at it all day, every two hours two segments until it was time to go to bed.
I had a different kind of weakness now. I felt less light headed but that gave me the false impression that I was stronger than I was. I would feel better and think I could easily walk somewhere but I had a feeling in my legs like unresponsive rubber. I think my body was switching over to using glucose and didn't have much to work with yet. It was like my brain was using some of the glucose and my body had no reserves so there was a lot of sitting down in the hallway on the way to the bathroom.
The second day I made thicker slices- like 1 1/2". And I ate twice as many of them. I had four larger segments every 2 hours (sometimes I went longer). I was still feeling better in my head, able to get up without holding on to something- but there was no gas in the tank yet. This was my hardest day, at one point on my way to the bed I had to lay down on the floor.
The third day there was a change in my chemistry that I could feel. I was still weak, but I knew I'd turned a corner and would continue to get stronger. By now I was eating a whole thick round of watermelon every three hours or so. When I needed to walk to the other end of the house I could. At two that afternoon I smelled smoke and went outside and saw the crest of the mountain that our park is on was burning. The sheriff's cars were coming by saying to prepare for a mandatory evacuation. I had the strength to load my dog and my new food- it never even occurred to me to grab my computer back up or something nostalgic- I wasn't going anywhere without my food!
I made four trips out to the car with my new food and my dog and by then they were saying it was a recommended evacuation. I went back in and watched the news and the sheriff's cars left and I brought in the perishables and slept for two hours. My friends had contingency plans to come and get me if it got bad- while they were all a pain in the ass while I was fasting- for re-feeding they were very handy- they go to the store for you and don't let you burn up in a fire!
By this time I am tiring of watermelon. What was a sparkling sweetness on Monday had turned into a taste I had enough of by Wednesday night. So I started eating fresh figs. Every new food I added had a delightful first bite. I also ate some lettuce that night. My whole digestive track was coming alive, starting to make its juices- from my mouth all the way to my large intestines. There were rumblings and grumblings down there and I knew a bowel movement was not too far in the future.
That story is for tomorrow-
Seena
My body had been in ketosis for three weeks. I was getting my fuel from my fat. My digestion had been completely turned off and from my mouth to my hind end there had been no action. No juices flowed anywhere, nothing moved, everything shrunk. I had had no bowel movement since the first day of the fast in the morning. Although I was very weak, it was a weakness I had lived with for a while and felt I understood, it was familiar. I am not sure what I expected, but the first three days of re-feeding were the hardest ones of all.
Elchanan and I had talked about the first two days of re-feeding as far as what and when and how to eat. The first day I cut a 1" slice from the watermelon and cut it into six pieces. That's a big round circle, cut in half, with the halves cut in thirds. I was supposed to eat two segments every two hours the first day- which ended up being two whole slices for the whole day. He told me to have whoever brought the watermelon on Sunday cut two pieces so they would be ready for me. I thought I could cut my own and later wished I had let them cut it for me. By the time I got my first two segments prepared and sat down on the couch I was exhausted.
But the first segment touching my tongue will be a feeling I will never forget. The sweetness of that watermelon exploded in my mouth and I felt an appreciation for that bite of fruit in a way I have never appreciated food before in my life. I ate my two segments very slowly with a big smile on my face. The second two segments two hours later were also consumed slowly and I found as small as they were I could not quite finish them. My stomach had really shrunk. I kept at it all day, every two hours two segments until it was time to go to bed.
I had a different kind of weakness now. I felt less light headed but that gave me the false impression that I was stronger than I was. I would feel better and think I could easily walk somewhere but I had a feeling in my legs like unresponsive rubber. I think my body was switching over to using glucose and didn't have much to work with yet. It was like my brain was using some of the glucose and my body had no reserves so there was a lot of sitting down in the hallway on the way to the bathroom.
The second day I made thicker slices- like 1 1/2". And I ate twice as many of them. I had four larger segments every 2 hours (sometimes I went longer). I was still feeling better in my head, able to get up without holding on to something- but there was no gas in the tank yet. This was my hardest day, at one point on my way to the bed I had to lay down on the floor.
The third day there was a change in my chemistry that I could feel. I was still weak, but I knew I'd turned a corner and would continue to get stronger. By now I was eating a whole thick round of watermelon every three hours or so. When I needed to walk to the other end of the house I could. At two that afternoon I smelled smoke and went outside and saw the crest of the mountain that our park is on was burning. The sheriff's cars were coming by saying to prepare for a mandatory evacuation. I had the strength to load my dog and my new food- it never even occurred to me to grab my computer back up or something nostalgic- I wasn't going anywhere without my food!
I made four trips out to the car with my new food and my dog and by then they were saying it was a recommended evacuation. I went back in and watched the news and the sheriff's cars left and I brought in the perishables and slept for two hours. My friends had contingency plans to come and get me if it got bad- while they were all a pain in the ass while I was fasting- for re-feeding they were very handy- they go to the store for you and don't let you burn up in a fire!
By this time I am tiring of watermelon. What was a sparkling sweetness on Monday had turned into a taste I had enough of by Wednesday night. So I started eating fresh figs. Every new food I added had a delightful first bite. I also ate some lettuce that night. My whole digestive track was coming alive, starting to make its juices- from my mouth all the way to my large intestines. There were rumblings and grumblings down there and I knew a bowel movement was not too far in the future.
That story is for tomorrow-
Seena
Friday, August 3, 2007
"Constructive Boredom"
Hi everyone. It's been about a week since I wrote last and I will take the events in order- starting with my experience of allowing myself to choose to be bored.
Last Friday Elchanan told me my fast would end on Monday, and that my task was to not have any distractions until then. And he meant NONE. Being at home alone with my dog meant I could not be true to the letter as I had responsibilities- I had to feed the dog, get myself water, go get the mail and whatnot. He said no computer (I did check for important emails in the AM and PM but did not read anything that didn't require my attention). He said no TV at all. No radio at all (Oh my- no Padres games). I was permitted to read, but was to be paying attention to when my eyes got tired. As most of my time was spent laying in bed I figured I would find a good novel and read and rest.
I have to confess- I am not one to let myself be with myself. I have a radio or TV on somewhere all the time (yes- TV on at night most nights all night). The first day I did a lot of laying there and mostly reading and I felt an agitation I couldn't name. At about 10 at night I decided I shouldn't read anymore and just laid there and had my first bad night sleep in a very long time. I let my mind wander- I imagined eating fruits and vegetables, spent millions won in the lottery- thought about how I would open myself up to new people more of a like mind than I have in decades- tried to describe them specifically in my mind. The whole time I fasted I had not one emotional experience as is usually experienced. I thought maybe the three plus months of dynamic self-discovery work that I did right before the fast could have cleared me of a lot of things that might have come out otherwise. I thought this might be similar to eating well for a long period of time before fasting and having few physical symptoms. I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM.
The next day went kind of like the first and when it was time to put the book down for the night I had a very positive attitude about experiencing the boredom. I was going to relax into it and give it a good shot. I didn't stay up quite as long, but my thoughts were interesting and not very revealing in any way.
The next day my food buyer brought over the largest seeded organic watermelon I have ever seen in my life. By the late afternoon I was planning my feeding schedule and by the evening I gave up on constructive boredom and listened to the Padres game. I am going to give this "alone with me" time concept a scheduled place in my life, as soon as my life settles down. I am working on gaining self-awareness and can't do that without stopping the unnecessary noise in my life. At least the external noise I can control. The internal noise will be harder.
Elchanan says the end of a fasting period is a perfect time to try constructive boredom. He thinks maybe had I stayed with it the last evening I could have experienced something interesting. My little inside voice says another night would have been like the first two. Who knows- I am not planning on another fast this long anytime soon.
Tomorrow I will talk about my re-feeding. See you then-
Seena
Last Friday Elchanan told me my fast would end on Monday, and that my task was to not have any distractions until then. And he meant NONE. Being at home alone with my dog meant I could not be true to the letter as I had responsibilities- I had to feed the dog, get myself water, go get the mail and whatnot. He said no computer (I did check for important emails in the AM and PM but did not read anything that didn't require my attention). He said no TV at all. No radio at all (Oh my- no Padres games). I was permitted to read, but was to be paying attention to when my eyes got tired. As most of my time was spent laying in bed I figured I would find a good novel and read and rest.
I have to confess- I am not one to let myself be with myself. I have a radio or TV on somewhere all the time (yes- TV on at night most nights all night). The first day I did a lot of laying there and mostly reading and I felt an agitation I couldn't name. At about 10 at night I decided I shouldn't read anymore and just laid there and had my first bad night sleep in a very long time. I let my mind wander- I imagined eating fruits and vegetables, spent millions won in the lottery- thought about how I would open myself up to new people more of a like mind than I have in decades- tried to describe them specifically in my mind. The whole time I fasted I had not one emotional experience as is usually experienced. I thought maybe the three plus months of dynamic self-discovery work that I did right before the fast could have cleared me of a lot of things that might have come out otherwise. I thought this might be similar to eating well for a long period of time before fasting and having few physical symptoms. I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM.
The next day went kind of like the first and when it was time to put the book down for the night I had a very positive attitude about experiencing the boredom. I was going to relax into it and give it a good shot. I didn't stay up quite as long, but my thoughts were interesting and not very revealing in any way.
The next day my food buyer brought over the largest seeded organic watermelon I have ever seen in my life. By the late afternoon I was planning my feeding schedule and by the evening I gave up on constructive boredom and listened to the Padres game. I am going to give this "alone with me" time concept a scheduled place in my life, as soon as my life settles down. I am working on gaining self-awareness and can't do that without stopping the unnecessary noise in my life. At least the external noise I can control. The internal noise will be harder.
Elchanan says the end of a fasting period is a perfect time to try constructive boredom. He thinks maybe had I stayed with it the last evening I could have experienced something interesting. My little inside voice says another night would have been like the first two. Who knows- I am not planning on another fast this long anytime soon.
Tomorrow I will talk about my re-feeding. See you then-
Seena
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