Hi ya-
Here comes the part about bodily functions that is necessary to talk about and sensitive to some people. If you don't want to hear the graphic details, don't read them. Along with all the other digestive processes, moving the bowels has been completely shut down for almost a month. The morning of the fourth day of refeeding this all changed.
Toward the end of the first fasting week I felt I had residual material sitting at the end of my digestive tract waiting for elimination and unable to move without a force behind it. I considered an enema, to relieve the distraction and to prevent old material from sitting there perhaps with toxins to be reabsorbed by my body. It was among the questions I had at this particular juncture, but one not answered by Elchanan. Sometimes he just ignores to elaborate on points and I interpret those avoidances as invitations to figure it out by myself (or as personal points that are none of my business). So I thought about nature's design and came to the conclusion that enemas are a man made invention and that my body would take care of its needs on its own. Soon after the sensation of an awaiting bowel movement left. At about this time I stopped looking for or expecting a bowel movement.
I had read many accounts of people clearing their rectums before refeeding so that this old residual that had accumulated could be eliminated with ease. The one 7 day cleanse I had experienced included two home colonics a day. Most of the literature had positive responses to questions of colonics used to some degree while fasting. Dr. Doug Graham was one of the people opposed to the practice, and I have come to admire and respect his opinion. Elchanan said I would get rid of the old stuff (and it would be stinky and unpleasant as poop goes) and that would be followed by more familiar good eating movements. I had tired of watermelon and started my figs and lettuce so by the morning of day four, after growlings and grumblings, the old stuff made its move.
Now keep in mind that my previous two years of progressively better eating had blessed me with frequent and easy bowel movements, and that for almost the last month I had not even stretched my anal sphincter once. I was not prepared for passing that first "plug" of God knows what it was. The first attempts to pass this accumulation yielded small little pieces of mucus encrusted stuff. I realized what was coming would need all the help I could give it and used some lubricant on toilet tissue to help ease the friction and got up on the toilet- with the seat up you can use a "poor man's" squat position without buying any equipment. And then it was like birthing a whale- I just took my time and worked until I delivered this presto log cylinder that looked like marbled beef but with a green-brown color instead of red. I don't know what it was but it was ugly- and I was free at last!
Oh- great day in the morning- I felt so much better. I instantly understood what my dog is happy about after he comes running back in from a morning potty break all happy to be alive. I had stretched myself to the limit but did not bleed so my body did know what it was doing. I felt light and relieved and exhausted. My butt was sore for almost a week, but the next bowel movement came later that night and was obviously watermelon. Let the normal pooping begin.
I think the best refeeding advice is double the amount daily but slow down the intervals for the first three or four days and eat watermelon until you just can't anymore. Don't be concern with having a bowel movement, it will come when it is supposed to. After getting enough to eat I started to limit my meals to four, then finally three. I added a variety of food as I felt was appropriate and now eat three full meals a day, and having bowel movements on the same schedule I was before fasting. Life is good and I feel great.
More later- odds and ends to tie up.
Seena
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Re-feeding Days 1-3
Well, the big day had come, the one you lay around and think about- the day you start eating again. I will describe the first three days because they were the transitioning days.
My body had been in ketosis for three weeks. I was getting my fuel from my fat. My digestion had been completely turned off and from my mouth to my hind end there had been no action. No juices flowed anywhere, nothing moved, everything shrunk. I had had no bowel movement since the first day of the fast in the morning. Although I was very weak, it was a weakness I had lived with for a while and felt I understood, it was familiar. I am not sure what I expected, but the first three days of re-feeding were the hardest ones of all.
Elchanan and I had talked about the first two days of re-feeding as far as what and when and how to eat. The first day I cut a 1" slice from the watermelon and cut it into six pieces. That's a big round circle, cut in half, with the halves cut in thirds. I was supposed to eat two segments every two hours the first day- which ended up being two whole slices for the whole day. He told me to have whoever brought the watermelon on Sunday cut two pieces so they would be ready for me. I thought I could cut my own and later wished I had let them cut it for me. By the time I got my first two segments prepared and sat down on the couch I was exhausted.
But the first segment touching my tongue will be a feeling I will never forget. The sweetness of that watermelon exploded in my mouth and I felt an appreciation for that bite of fruit in a way I have never appreciated food before in my life. I ate my two segments very slowly with a big smile on my face. The second two segments two hours later were also consumed slowly and I found as small as they were I could not quite finish them. My stomach had really shrunk. I kept at it all day, every two hours two segments until it was time to go to bed.
I had a different kind of weakness now. I felt less light headed but that gave me the false impression that I was stronger than I was. I would feel better and think I could easily walk somewhere but I had a feeling in my legs like unresponsive rubber. I think my body was switching over to using glucose and didn't have much to work with yet. It was like my brain was using some of the glucose and my body had no reserves so there was a lot of sitting down in the hallway on the way to the bathroom.
The second day I made thicker slices- like 1 1/2". And I ate twice as many of them. I had four larger segments every 2 hours (sometimes I went longer). I was still feeling better in my head, able to get up without holding on to something- but there was no gas in the tank yet. This was my hardest day, at one point on my way to the bed I had to lay down on the floor.
The third day there was a change in my chemistry that I could feel. I was still weak, but I knew I'd turned a corner and would continue to get stronger. By now I was eating a whole thick round of watermelon every three hours or so. When I needed to walk to the other end of the house I could. At two that afternoon I smelled smoke and went outside and saw the crest of the mountain that our park is on was burning. The sheriff's cars were coming by saying to prepare for a mandatory evacuation. I had the strength to load my dog and my new food- it never even occurred to me to grab my computer back up or something nostalgic- I wasn't going anywhere without my food!
I made four trips out to the car with my new food and my dog and by then they were saying it was a recommended evacuation. I went back in and watched the news and the sheriff's cars left and I brought in the perishables and slept for two hours. My friends had contingency plans to come and get me if it got bad- while they were all a pain in the ass while I was fasting- for re-feeding they were very handy- they go to the store for you and don't let you burn up in a fire!
By this time I am tiring of watermelon. What was a sparkling sweetness on Monday had turned into a taste I had enough of by Wednesday night. So I started eating fresh figs. Every new food I added had a delightful first bite. I also ate some lettuce that night. My whole digestive track was coming alive, starting to make its juices- from my mouth all the way to my large intestines. There were rumblings and grumblings down there and I knew a bowel movement was not too far in the future.
That story is for tomorrow-
Seena
My body had been in ketosis for three weeks. I was getting my fuel from my fat. My digestion had been completely turned off and from my mouth to my hind end there had been no action. No juices flowed anywhere, nothing moved, everything shrunk. I had had no bowel movement since the first day of the fast in the morning. Although I was very weak, it was a weakness I had lived with for a while and felt I understood, it was familiar. I am not sure what I expected, but the first three days of re-feeding were the hardest ones of all.
Elchanan and I had talked about the first two days of re-feeding as far as what and when and how to eat. The first day I cut a 1" slice from the watermelon and cut it into six pieces. That's a big round circle, cut in half, with the halves cut in thirds. I was supposed to eat two segments every two hours the first day- which ended up being two whole slices for the whole day. He told me to have whoever brought the watermelon on Sunday cut two pieces so they would be ready for me. I thought I could cut my own and later wished I had let them cut it for me. By the time I got my first two segments prepared and sat down on the couch I was exhausted.
But the first segment touching my tongue will be a feeling I will never forget. The sweetness of that watermelon exploded in my mouth and I felt an appreciation for that bite of fruit in a way I have never appreciated food before in my life. I ate my two segments very slowly with a big smile on my face. The second two segments two hours later were also consumed slowly and I found as small as they were I could not quite finish them. My stomach had really shrunk. I kept at it all day, every two hours two segments until it was time to go to bed.
I had a different kind of weakness now. I felt less light headed but that gave me the false impression that I was stronger than I was. I would feel better and think I could easily walk somewhere but I had a feeling in my legs like unresponsive rubber. I think my body was switching over to using glucose and didn't have much to work with yet. It was like my brain was using some of the glucose and my body had no reserves so there was a lot of sitting down in the hallway on the way to the bathroom.
The second day I made thicker slices- like 1 1/2". And I ate twice as many of them. I had four larger segments every 2 hours (sometimes I went longer). I was still feeling better in my head, able to get up without holding on to something- but there was no gas in the tank yet. This was my hardest day, at one point on my way to the bed I had to lay down on the floor.
The third day there was a change in my chemistry that I could feel. I was still weak, but I knew I'd turned a corner and would continue to get stronger. By now I was eating a whole thick round of watermelon every three hours or so. When I needed to walk to the other end of the house I could. At two that afternoon I smelled smoke and went outside and saw the crest of the mountain that our park is on was burning. The sheriff's cars were coming by saying to prepare for a mandatory evacuation. I had the strength to load my dog and my new food- it never even occurred to me to grab my computer back up or something nostalgic- I wasn't going anywhere without my food!
I made four trips out to the car with my new food and my dog and by then they were saying it was a recommended evacuation. I went back in and watched the news and the sheriff's cars left and I brought in the perishables and slept for two hours. My friends had contingency plans to come and get me if it got bad- while they were all a pain in the ass while I was fasting- for re-feeding they were very handy- they go to the store for you and don't let you burn up in a fire!
By this time I am tiring of watermelon. What was a sparkling sweetness on Monday had turned into a taste I had enough of by Wednesday night. So I started eating fresh figs. Every new food I added had a delightful first bite. I also ate some lettuce that night. My whole digestive track was coming alive, starting to make its juices- from my mouth all the way to my large intestines. There were rumblings and grumblings down there and I knew a bowel movement was not too far in the future.
That story is for tomorrow-
Seena
Friday, August 3, 2007
"Constructive Boredom"
Hi everyone. It's been about a week since I wrote last and I will take the events in order- starting with my experience of allowing myself to choose to be bored.
Last Friday Elchanan told me my fast would end on Monday, and that my task was to not have any distractions until then. And he meant NONE. Being at home alone with my dog meant I could not be true to the letter as I had responsibilities- I had to feed the dog, get myself water, go get the mail and whatnot. He said no computer (I did check for important emails in the AM and PM but did not read anything that didn't require my attention). He said no TV at all. No radio at all (Oh my- no Padres games). I was permitted to read, but was to be paying attention to when my eyes got tired. As most of my time was spent laying in bed I figured I would find a good novel and read and rest.
I have to confess- I am not one to let myself be with myself. I have a radio or TV on somewhere all the time (yes- TV on at night most nights all night). The first day I did a lot of laying there and mostly reading and I felt an agitation I couldn't name. At about 10 at night I decided I shouldn't read anymore and just laid there and had my first bad night sleep in a very long time. I let my mind wander- I imagined eating fruits and vegetables, spent millions won in the lottery- thought about how I would open myself up to new people more of a like mind than I have in decades- tried to describe them specifically in my mind. The whole time I fasted I had not one emotional experience as is usually experienced. I thought maybe the three plus months of dynamic self-discovery work that I did right before the fast could have cleared me of a lot of things that might have come out otherwise. I thought this might be similar to eating well for a long period of time before fasting and having few physical symptoms. I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM.
The next day went kind of like the first and when it was time to put the book down for the night I had a very positive attitude about experiencing the boredom. I was going to relax into it and give it a good shot. I didn't stay up quite as long, but my thoughts were interesting and not very revealing in any way.
The next day my food buyer brought over the largest seeded organic watermelon I have ever seen in my life. By the late afternoon I was planning my feeding schedule and by the evening I gave up on constructive boredom and listened to the Padres game. I am going to give this "alone with me" time concept a scheduled place in my life, as soon as my life settles down. I am working on gaining self-awareness and can't do that without stopping the unnecessary noise in my life. At least the external noise I can control. The internal noise will be harder.
Elchanan says the end of a fasting period is a perfect time to try constructive boredom. He thinks maybe had I stayed with it the last evening I could have experienced something interesting. My little inside voice says another night would have been like the first two. Who knows- I am not planning on another fast this long anytime soon.
Tomorrow I will talk about my re-feeding. See you then-
Seena
Last Friday Elchanan told me my fast would end on Monday, and that my task was to not have any distractions until then. And he meant NONE. Being at home alone with my dog meant I could not be true to the letter as I had responsibilities- I had to feed the dog, get myself water, go get the mail and whatnot. He said no computer (I did check for important emails in the AM and PM but did not read anything that didn't require my attention). He said no TV at all. No radio at all (Oh my- no Padres games). I was permitted to read, but was to be paying attention to when my eyes got tired. As most of my time was spent laying in bed I figured I would find a good novel and read and rest.
I have to confess- I am not one to let myself be with myself. I have a radio or TV on somewhere all the time (yes- TV on at night most nights all night). The first day I did a lot of laying there and mostly reading and I felt an agitation I couldn't name. At about 10 at night I decided I shouldn't read anymore and just laid there and had my first bad night sleep in a very long time. I let my mind wander- I imagined eating fruits and vegetables, spent millions won in the lottery- thought about how I would open myself up to new people more of a like mind than I have in decades- tried to describe them specifically in my mind. The whole time I fasted I had not one emotional experience as is usually experienced. I thought maybe the three plus months of dynamic self-discovery work that I did right before the fast could have cleared me of a lot of things that might have come out otherwise. I thought this might be similar to eating well for a long period of time before fasting and having few physical symptoms. I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM.
The next day went kind of like the first and when it was time to put the book down for the night I had a very positive attitude about experiencing the boredom. I was going to relax into it and give it a good shot. I didn't stay up quite as long, but my thoughts were interesting and not very revealing in any way.
The next day my food buyer brought over the largest seeded organic watermelon I have ever seen in my life. By the late afternoon I was planning my feeding schedule and by the evening I gave up on constructive boredom and listened to the Padres game. I am going to give this "alone with me" time concept a scheduled place in my life, as soon as my life settles down. I am working on gaining self-awareness and can't do that without stopping the unnecessary noise in my life. At least the external noise I can control. The internal noise will be harder.
Elchanan says the end of a fasting period is a perfect time to try constructive boredom. He thinks maybe had I stayed with it the last evening I could have experienced something interesting. My little inside voice says another night would have been like the first two. Who knows- I am not planning on another fast this long anytime soon.
Tomorrow I will talk about my re-feeding. See you then-
Seena
Friday, July 27, 2007
Day 19
Hello everybody-
I just talked to Elchanan and there is light at the end of the tunnel! I will be breaking my fast on Monday- which will make 21 days. He gave me re-feeding instructions for the first two days. I will be calling him in the morning on Monday just to make sure everything is understood and set.
He gave me a very difficult assignment. He wants me to be bored for the next three days. I have avoided dealing with myself throughout this fast by my many distractions- TV, radio, computer. I can read, but need to pay attention to when my eyes feel tired. I will stop blogging until early next week. This is an interesting challenge. Can I do nothing for three days?
I have someone bringing me a seeded organic watermelon on Sunday. Just knowing there is an end makes my heart SING!
I will be back with the taste of watermelon in my mouth.
Thanks for the company-
Seena
I just talked to Elchanan and there is light at the end of the tunnel! I will be breaking my fast on Monday- which will make 21 days. He gave me re-feeding instructions for the first two days. I will be calling him in the morning on Monday just to make sure everything is understood and set.
He gave me a very difficult assignment. He wants me to be bored for the next three days. I have avoided dealing with myself throughout this fast by my many distractions- TV, radio, computer. I can read, but need to pay attention to when my eyes feel tired. I will stop blogging until early next week. This is an interesting challenge. Can I do nothing for three days?
I have someone bringing me a seeded organic watermelon on Sunday. Just knowing there is an end makes my heart SING!
I will be back with the taste of watermelon in my mouth.
Thanks for the company-
Seena
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Day 18
Hi ya-
This morning started off with a senior handyman coming to fix my shower faucets. It's a long boring story so I won't go into it- it took him over 4 hours and cost me $140. He was a skilled plumber but had to make two trips to the hardware store - if you want plumbing done, get a real plumber with a truck full of parts.
We had an interesting talk afterwards about health. He was so confused because all the information out there was conflicting and he just wanted to be healthy. He was 71 and had heart problems, but looked great, and had an incredibly open mind. I ordered him the 80-10-10 book. It's funny how the universe justs brings you what you need- I need a hundred handyman things done and he needs to learn how to use his new computer. I teach basic computer to beginners. He and I are both thrilled that we can exchange services.
I was much more comfortable with the air conditioner on today. And so was Junior my dog! I am pretty weak most of the time and my energy ebbs and flows but it doesn't flow too much. I can sit without fatiguing but sometimes just walking to the bathroom is a chore. My rashes are less itchy today so maybe that process is coming to a close. I talk again with Elchanan in the morning.
I would be lying if I said I didn't wish it was time to break the fast. When I feel bad I wish this more, when I feel better I know I can go on. Also when I feel bad I know if I just wait I will feel more human again. The repetition of the seemingly endless days wears you down like water dripping on a rock. When I feel weak (most of the time) I don't have the energy to creatively engage myself. I welcome naps and a good night's sleep- anything that will move the calendar forward. My body is busy doing wonderful things and I am left behind in the background trying not to get in its way. But I am so grateful for the work it is doing that I don't want to let it down.
That is it. It is like 95 degrees in the middle of the day so I haven't gotten any sun since I have been home. Maybe I will try to get some in the real late afternoon tomorrow. That ought to spark my synapses.
See you tomorrow- maybe I will have a report on what my body has been up to from Elchanan.
Seena
This morning started off with a senior handyman coming to fix my shower faucets. It's a long boring story so I won't go into it- it took him over 4 hours and cost me $140. He was a skilled plumber but had to make two trips to the hardware store - if you want plumbing done, get a real plumber with a truck full of parts.
We had an interesting talk afterwards about health. He was so confused because all the information out there was conflicting and he just wanted to be healthy. He was 71 and had heart problems, but looked great, and had an incredibly open mind. I ordered him the 80-10-10 book. It's funny how the universe justs brings you what you need- I need a hundred handyman things done and he needs to learn how to use his new computer. I teach basic computer to beginners. He and I are both thrilled that we can exchange services.
I was much more comfortable with the air conditioner on today. And so was Junior my dog! I am pretty weak most of the time and my energy ebbs and flows but it doesn't flow too much. I can sit without fatiguing but sometimes just walking to the bathroom is a chore. My rashes are less itchy today so maybe that process is coming to a close. I talk again with Elchanan in the morning.
I would be lying if I said I didn't wish it was time to break the fast. When I feel bad I wish this more, when I feel better I know I can go on. Also when I feel bad I know if I just wait I will feel more human again. The repetition of the seemingly endless days wears you down like water dripping on a rock. When I feel weak (most of the time) I don't have the energy to creatively engage myself. I welcome naps and a good night's sleep- anything that will move the calendar forward. My body is busy doing wonderful things and I am left behind in the background trying not to get in its way. But I am so grateful for the work it is doing that I don't want to let it down.
That is it. It is like 95 degrees in the middle of the day so I haven't gotten any sun since I have been home. Maybe I will try to get some in the real late afternoon tomorrow. That ought to spark my synapses.
See you tomorrow- maybe I will have a report on what my body has been up to from Elchanan.
Seena
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Day 17
Ha- I'm writing a blog at night!
I have two more lessons learned. You guys don't know how lucky you are not to have to live my learning experiences!
Yesterday I read "Fasting-And Eating-For Health: A Medical Doctor's Program for Conquering Disease" by Joel Furhman. It was quite good. Actually his dietary recommendations are pretty much 80-10-10 - he understands the bad health effects of eating high protein and fat. He does steam some veggies and eats some whole grains. I gave the book to a friend who thinks what I am doing is too restrictive for her so this may be a happy inbetween. He explains why we should not eat protein and fats very well and if she could make that move it would be a great start. And this guy is an MD. Some people just need to see the degree to attach the credibility to the work before they believe. He also did a great job with the fasting part of the book. Today I started "Fast Food Nation"- I have already seen the movie.
That is it- I'm off to read.
Seena
I have two more lessons learned. You guys don't know how lucky you are not to have to live my learning experiences!
- Sitting. On the 15th day of a 15 day stay I was making the dogs last meal. I couldn't stand any more so instead of laying down in the living room I grabbed a nearby bar stool and dragged it over and sat. I could then take my time and finish their meal at my leisure and not rush through it. I have great endurance sitting. I am comfortable sitting. I can't believe I went two weeks without figuring out that I could do a great many things without tiring if I could figure out how to sit and do them. Today I washed my kitchen floor with a hand scrub and a bowl of warm water. I sat on the floor and did circles with the scrub and used almost no energy.
- Temperature. I have been home for two days where it is much hotter than the other place, which is closer to the beach. I thought I was wiped out at night because I used up my reserves. That might in part be true but a friend brought water over in the afternoon and said "It's too hot in here!". Well, it was, about 87 degrees. My dog has been panting since we have been back. By the afternoon I can hardly stand. I turned on the AC and I perked right up! This was a demoralizing oversight on my part because I was beginning to think I was so weak and felt so bad that I would have to pull the plug on the fast. Now I am good to go.
Yesterday I read "Fasting-And Eating-For Health: A Medical Doctor's Program for Conquering Disease" by Joel Furhman. It was quite good. Actually his dietary recommendations are pretty much 80-10-10 - he understands the bad health effects of eating high protein and fat. He does steam some veggies and eats some whole grains. I gave the book to a friend who thinks what I am doing is too restrictive for her so this may be a happy inbetween. He explains why we should not eat protein and fats very well and if she could make that move it would be a great start. And this guy is an MD. Some people just need to see the degree to attach the credibility to the work before they believe. He also did a great job with the fasting part of the book. Today I started "Fast Food Nation"- I have already seen the movie.
That is it- I'm off to read.
Seena
Day 16
Hello all-
I tried to write last night but was too tired so here I am again writing the morning after. Yesterday was my first day home and I rested lots. I didn't do anything other than water and pee me and feed the dog. I napped more than I have any other day. I had a little energy in the morning and less through out the day, even with the naps. My rashes are active and itchy, the right side in particular covers a large area.
In the morning I had a Dynamic Self-discovery session with Elchanan. He said the fast was going very well and that there appeared to be no DSD work to do. So we didn't do any, but I asked lots of questions and felt once again reassured and motivated when we were done. I asked it it still looked like a 30 day fast and he got a "no", but that may not be what I might hear on Friday when I talk to him again. Upon later reflection I thought that we never asked if it would be longer than 30 days- so I am reserving any expectations.
I did a lot of "scattered" reading. I picked up this and that and just read to fill the time. One book I revisited was Dr. Doug's 80-10-10 book- I was interested in the evening meals. Before I had little interest in the blended meals (other than my morning smoothies) because I had heard so many stories about how blended meals were tasteless. I have an Ann Wigmore book about nothing but blended meals and was never motivated to try one. But I want to re-investigate this topic because my head is changing about food. My sense of taste is so much better now that I don't use condiments, I really enjoy the taste of what I am eating. And I now eat organic produce so what I am eating tastes better to begin with. I find myself wanting to try some of his recipes, and have begun creating my own in my head. And without any stimulation at all for so long on this fast, my taste buds will be even more sensitive. Elchanan says I will have a whole brand new relationship with food.
I am going to try REALLY hard to write tonight, but Elchanan says to always take care of myself first and when the tank is out of gas, I am happy to just make it to the bed and flop for the night.
Later-
Seena
I tried to write last night but was too tired so here I am again writing the morning after. Yesterday was my first day home and I rested lots. I didn't do anything other than water and pee me and feed the dog. I napped more than I have any other day. I had a little energy in the morning and less through out the day, even with the naps. My rashes are active and itchy, the right side in particular covers a large area.
In the morning I had a Dynamic Self-discovery session with Elchanan. He said the fast was going very well and that there appeared to be no DSD work to do. So we didn't do any, but I asked lots of questions and felt once again reassured and motivated when we were done. I asked it it still looked like a 30 day fast and he got a "no", but that may not be what I might hear on Friday when I talk to him again. Upon later reflection I thought that we never asked if it would be longer than 30 days- so I am reserving any expectations.
I did a lot of "scattered" reading. I picked up this and that and just read to fill the time. One book I revisited was Dr. Doug's 80-10-10 book- I was interested in the evening meals. Before I had little interest in the blended meals (other than my morning smoothies) because I had heard so many stories about how blended meals were tasteless. I have an Ann Wigmore book about nothing but blended meals and was never motivated to try one. But I want to re-investigate this topic because my head is changing about food. My sense of taste is so much better now that I don't use condiments, I really enjoy the taste of what I am eating. And I now eat organic produce so what I am eating tastes better to begin with. I find myself wanting to try some of his recipes, and have begun creating my own in my head. And without any stimulation at all for so long on this fast, my taste buds will be even more sensitive. Elchanan says I will have a whole brand new relationship with food.
I am going to try REALLY hard to write tonight, but Elchanan says to always take care of myself first and when the tank is out of gas, I am happy to just make it to the bed and flop for the night.
Later-
Seena
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Day 15
Hi-
Today was moving day so it was packed full of things I had to do. I needed to try and make the house look like it looked when I got there and I had to prepare all the stuff I brought for the trip to bring back home. Of course, looking back I could have literally left 75% of that stuff at home. This knowledge is of no use to me now as I am positive I would never fast again away from home unless it was a formal place to fast.
I started the day off with the very best energy I have had yet. Thank goodness because I needed it. When it was time to move me back I was absolutely wiped out. I had a ton of mail to go through and all my stuff from the trip is all over the front room. And it can stay there until the fast is done for all I care- it is the morning after now and I am still really weak.
I have to prepare for my DSD session with Elchanan. I also have plans to do nothing but rest from now on. Elchanan says the third week is when a lot of real cleansing takes place. So cleanse away body!
I am too tired to write more, but I will do better tonight when I have rested.
Bye-
Seena
Today was moving day so it was packed full of things I had to do. I needed to try and make the house look like it looked when I got there and I had to prepare all the stuff I brought for the trip to bring back home. Of course, looking back I could have literally left 75% of that stuff at home. This knowledge is of no use to me now as I am positive I would never fast again away from home unless it was a formal place to fast.
I started the day off with the very best energy I have had yet. Thank goodness because I needed it. When it was time to move me back I was absolutely wiped out. I had a ton of mail to go through and all my stuff from the trip is all over the front room. And it can stay there until the fast is done for all I care- it is the morning after now and I am still really weak.
I have to prepare for my DSD session with Elchanan. I also have plans to do nothing but rest from now on. Elchanan says the third week is when a lot of real cleansing takes place. So cleanse away body!
I am too tired to write more, but I will do better tonight when I have rested.
Bye-
Seena
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Day 14
Hi all-
I remembered two more lessons learned:
- Socialization. In two weeks I have seen almost no people I know. The ideal would be to be part of a fasting group where you could talk daily and support each other. The worst scenario is what I am doing- seeing almost nobody in person. People present a problem because seeing people who are invested in what they think is your health leads to their trying to save your life. These are not good subjects. I will be happy to be home where I have neighbors close by on each side. I live in a senior park so maybe they won’t notice that I am weak and getting thin (just kidding- one neighbor is picking up my mail and watering and knows what I am doing). Maybe I’ll just talk to the mailman- we have a good rapport and he doesn’t have time to hear the story. That’s one more person a day than I have now.
- Boredom. Elchanan says there is a “constructive boredom”. I have not found that delightful state yet. I started out with guidelines about the TV and quiet time and I’ve broken them all. Boredom will drive you to unknown places. Being weak is so constrictive; I often can’t do anything but lay there (as rest should be). So I will try harder these next weeks to conquer boredom.
Today I did do some enjoyable visualization. I fleshed out what I will be doing to build up my physical health. I included cardio, weight bearing, stretching, and balancing movements. I am very motivated to do this, slowly after re-feeding. I had neglected this for a long time so I am going to be looking funny with so much less fat and so little muscle underneath. I have always been athletic and I like the way it feels to be in shape. I got a great dose of sun today.
Tonight concludes two weeks of water fasting (and two weeks of not pooping!). The rashes on my left side are cleared; the ones on my right side are clearing. I look forward with untold joy to going home to my own house, with my own computer, with my only one quiet dog, with one fifth of the “chores”. I am loading up on water and dog food and will be in for the duration. I have one person getting me supplies and taking me home, another following with my truck. I am quite the happy camper.
We won’t talk about the Padres- they are breaking my heart-
Seena
Day 13
Hello to all-
It was nice to read the Path of Health digest in the morning and see some discussion about my fast. I hoped by keeping a blog I could journal my experience for myself, give anyone who was interested an inside look at what it was like for me, and to help give pointers to the fasters of the future. So- here are my
LESSONS LEARNED SO FAR:
- Negativity. The people who love you will not want you to fast any extended length of time. That is their job, they love you. Their protests are in direct proportion to how much they care. Before fasting tell them all if they can’t be supportive that you will talk to them again when you are done fasting- and mean it. You do not have the energy to battle their fear; they do not have enough correct information not to worry out loud.
- Rest. Rest means don’t do anything but get water, pee, and bathe when it is time. Don’t do like I did and think sitting and doing nothing at someone’s house is resting. You have no idea how much energy you will have, and just going out to get the paper in the morning can be exhausting.
- Environment. It should be quiet. The noise here from the cars and nearness of other houses with their gardeners and construction is distracting. It should be where you can enjoy the serenity of nature. This tract house doesn’t give me a view of much. It should be where you can lay in the sun. I can do that here, but have to move the lounge chair around depending on the time of day and it’s too much so I sit on the steps in the sun.
- Length. It should be open-ended so you don’t interrupt a cleansing process when you stop. If you work with supervision they can help you decide the best place to break. Damn- I did this one right!
- Preparation. Eat 80-10-10 for quite a while before you start, eat mono meals in the days before you fast, the longer the better. I also did this and went from burning carbs to burning fat very quickly and had very few typical SAD to fast symptoms.
- Hydration. Pay attention to your thirst!! This is of the utmost importance to your comfort and motivation. If you feel really crappy because you are dehydrated then you won’t want to continue. Sip your water often enough not to get dry mouth. Learn to recognize the back of the throat signal that you need water so you don’t get to the louder signal of dry mouth. Keep hydrated and you will keep happy.
I’m sure I’m forgetting things but I’ll include them later as I remember them. The Padres were so bad tonight I couldn’t watch the second half of the game. The bums stink!
Seena
Friday, July 20, 2007
Day 12
Evening-
Today I woke up and felt great. That is relative to how I have been feeling. Instead of walking around like the hunch back of Notre Dame I could walk around “regular”. I didn’t know if my body had just made another adjustment or was done with some big cleansing job or what. But I welcomed the change. I am still weak, but I could do things like walk to the other end of the house without planning it and taking rests along the way. Toward the late afternoon I was more tired but nothing like I have been.
I had a dynamic self discovery session, a short one, with Elchanan this morning. He said my temperature, blood pressure, and lymphatic circulation was out of kilter. Some how, perhaps from my smoking in the past, the three processes were no longer working together as they should so I focused on getting them back in sync. When done he said I had completed the process and I trust they are now working with better coordination. (How does he know these things?).
My morale is very high. Part of that is the feeling so much better. Part is having talked to Elchanan. I want to stay with this until he says it’s a good time to break, and I am not concerned about how long it takes. It will be what it will be. I am locked into being healthy. I want to be healthy with a real passion. I visualize my body doing this grand housecleaning, correcting my years of bad habits, fixing things I didn’t even know were brewing. When it’s time to stop, I will keep my diet clean and get some muscle tone. If I need to short fast later I will. If I need another long one, I will. I can see now more clearly how this fast is a great gift to myself.
Usually this is where I say I’m tired and have to go to bed. Well I am not tired and am going off to read!
See you tomorrow night-
Seena
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Day 11
Welcome-
Today was a weaker day than yesterday but a good one. I guess my reserves will ebb and flow with the demands of my inner cleansing. Since I make a hundred trips to the water and the bathroom it’s not like I’m just lying down all day. I sit when I remember but I have always been one to lay down- reading, watching TV- I am not comfortable in a chair. Even when studying for school if there was a lot of reading involved I’d be on my back propped up with pillow behind my head.
I have new rashes. If I stand with my right palm to the side of my body, then move it back a few inches I am right on top of the new rash- half on my butt. It is about the size of my hand. I also notice I am bringing up stuff from my throat- nothing solid or colored and it took me a while before I realized I was doing it. It could be the decades of smoking. If it increases I will have to spit it out rather than just swallow as I can tell it my stomach will get upset and I don’t look forward to puking. That would surly mess up my hydration!
I started reading “The Liberty Dollar Solution To the Federal Reserve” today and I think it is a great book. It fills in my huge voids of knowledge about money and its relationship to liberty. I have so little background and it really doesn’t matter because we aren’t taught much in school that furthers my education on these subjects. I like the flow of the book and find it not so technical that I fall asleep. It’s not a quick read like a novel, but it may be one of the more instructive books I’ve read in years.
The Padres won 1-0 and the Dodgers lost their game so we are tied for first together again. I know nobody out there cares but this is the highlight of my whole day. I know I cleanse better when they win (just kidding). The days are endless repetitions of drinking water and peeing with a few phone calls and occasional sunshine. I look forward to the games.
That is it- I am tired (what else is new) and am going to exchange the couch for the bed.
Bye-
Seena
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Day 10
Good evening-
It’s all about water control. I am getting very good at keeping myself hydrated without getting too much water. In the beginning, not being used to drinking water, I got to the dry mouth stage before I drank. I was dehydrated and feeling crappy. Now I sip often and never reach the dry mouth- and am beginning to feel the back of the throat signal to drink. I am weak, but being hydrated keeps my blood volume up so I don’t feel like I am going to faint if I sit or stand- and I feel much more comfortable. Today I felt very good. I had to take out the trash and pick up dog poop- but I took my time and did it in stages resting in between and I did fine.
The rash on my over my left kidney has gotten bigger, and it itches. There is a smaller rash on the right side. Nothing else is going on. My ring is loose. I have lost maybe 15 pounds. I am amazed that I can go without eating for ten days and feel as good as I did today. The body is so awesome. It is being completely self-contained- I am only giving it air and water.
I think about food sometimes, but not in a “I wish I could eat this” kind of way. I think about what I will be eating when I am done. Sometimes this thinking makes my mouth water and soon my stomach might growl, but I am not hungry. And I don’t dwell on food- so it isn’t a problem. I don’t want to eat, I want to fast. If I go thirty days then I have done one third of the time. If most of the days could be as good as today I won’t have a problem.
I will be happy to go home on Monday. I will have fewer responsibilities and I am close to my neighbors on both sides. Just five more days (that will be 15 and that’s half of 30!).
I’m real tired so I’ll see you guys tomorrow-
Seena
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Day 9
Hi all-
I had a dynamic self-discovery session this morning with Elchanan. It was interesting because it was half the length of a regular session (but we will do them twice as often through my fast) and the statements were related to my fasting. “Every part of my system works in perfect harmony.” “It’s safe and OK for me to let go of anything and everything that no longer serves me.” The statements that have “it’s safe and OK” in them are my favorites- I apparently have safety issues.
It is comforting to know he is there with answers I can trust. I learned this will probably be a long fast; my kidneys are ridding themselves of toxins through rashes on my hips, and my worry of having stored lots of mercury (working as a dental tech and a ton of fillings) is well founded. Heavy metals are slow to leave the body so I am in for the long haul.
When I mentioned the new rash on my hips he said that’s the kidneys. Later I reached to the back of my left side, behind the new rash and felt another rash right where my kidney is. When you take his God given intelligence, his intuition, his understanding of nature’s design, and some kind of gift that produces a synergy- you end up with a resource that is awe inspiring. And respect inspiring. And gratitude inspiring.
I have to spend more time without the distractions that I make to let the time pass quicker. I almost never just lay there and do some quiet time. So I am setting aside some time to do this, but I want to approach it with more of a play mentality. I want to do some fun imagining along with some more serious musings. I will think about this tomorrow because I am going to go to sleep soon.
Today’s energy was different. I felt OK but started two tasks and ran out of energy in the middle of both. I had to give my little dog a bath in the kitchen sink. Usually I let the suds soak in for four or five minutes. I don’t think it was much more than a minute and a half and I was rinsing him off. I just couldn’t stand any longer. Same when I fed the dogs. It is a multi task chore- and I had to rest between each step. They weren’t happy. I also had a slew of calls for the owner of the house, and two people came to the door. The next fast I do will be at a professional fast center where I can actually rest.
Good night-
Seena
Day 8
Salutations-
Taking in more water was the best thing I could have done to make myself more comfortable. I am not "forcing" water, but I am trying not to allow myself to get to the dry mouth stage. I seem to be ignoring the thirst in the back of the throat signal that I need water. I haven't felt that "I am so weak I feel terrible" stage since I have increased my water consumption. This makes life so much easier. Yesterday a friend was freaking out because his computer crashed and he had to start from the beginning- he had lost everything. Since he was only a couple of blocks away he picked me up and I spent 20 minutes setting up his email account and reinstalled his security system. Then I laid down and rested for an hour and a half watching TV and napping- then I went home. It was nice to be in a different environment for a couple of hours as I was getting cabin fever.
In addition to becoming serious about a "real" garden I have another direction I want to go. I want to set up a fun and efficient physical exercise program. I have neglected this part of my health and I miss it. I want to start playing in my 50 and over basketball league again, and working out with weights and stretching. I also want to use the bike I got five years ago that I never use. When I am done with this fast I am going to be very much aware of how little muscle I really have.
Got to go and prepare for my dynamic self discovery session with Elchanan. I hope we work on something to assist my fasting.
See you later-
Seena
Taking in more water was the best thing I could have done to make myself more comfortable. I am not "forcing" water, but I am trying not to allow myself to get to the dry mouth stage. I seem to be ignoring the thirst in the back of the throat signal that I need water. I haven't felt that "I am so weak I feel terrible" stage since I have increased my water consumption. This makes life so much easier. Yesterday a friend was freaking out because his computer crashed and he had to start from the beginning- he had lost everything. Since he was only a couple of blocks away he picked me up and I spent 20 minutes setting up his email account and reinstalled his security system. Then I laid down and rested for an hour and a half watching TV and napping- then I went home. It was nice to be in a different environment for a couple of hours as I was getting cabin fever.
In addition to becoming serious about a "real" garden I have another direction I want to go. I want to set up a fun and efficient physical exercise program. I have neglected this part of my health and I miss it. I want to start playing in my 50 and over basketball league again, and working out with weights and stretching. I also want to use the bike I got five years ago that I never use. When I am done with this fast I am going to be very much aware of how little muscle I really have.
Got to go and prepare for my dynamic self discovery session with Elchanan. I hope we work on something to assist my fasting.
See you later-
Seena
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